Am I too judgemental?
For the past few weeks I thought that maybe I was a little bit too judgmental and as I discussed here. . I�ve tried hard to just have the attitude of live and let live. Especially when it came to my friend�s (now to be called Bob) relationship with a married man. When Bob told me that he had pretty much placed himself in the life of this man and his family by tutoring the son in Spanish, I was disgusted but I thought that maybe I should try to see the other side. I tried hard. I really did. I didn�t say anything when Bob told me that the husband skipped his son�s game so he and Bob could have sex in the married man�s car. I tried to laugh along with him. But today I think I experienced the straw that broke the preverbal camel�s back. Bob called me up today and bragged to me how he and the husband had sex twice that day, both times the wife and children were home. He told me that the first time the husband told the wife that he was going to the garage and help Bob fix something in his car. Bob told me how the husband is such a loud lover that the dog started barking. He then told me how when the wife was putting the kids to bed they had sex in the kitchen. Bob was laughing so hard when he said that the wife told him how nice and sweet he was and how she should fix Bob up with some woman she works out with. Bob was being so mean saying that he wished the wife would have walked in on them. He said that he hated her. I asked him why and Bob said that she was so clueless and how she is always trying to hold her husbands hand and how much she talks about him and the family like they are so important to her. I finally broke and said, well Bob, they are married. She�s supposed to feel that way. He said that he didn�t care and that his plan is to try to sneak into the house one night while they are sleeping and have sex with the husband. I asked him why he�d want to do that and he said because it would be hot. I tried to do my counting exercises before I commented. I took deep breaths. But he just went on and on. I asked him if he liked the husband. Bob said that he did but that he knows that they would never be a couple. I asked him why and he said because he would not want to deal with Bob�s kids. I took a deep breath and told Bob that maybe he should just let the husband go. He�s had his fun and fantasy maybe it was time to let it go. He said he would let it go once he turned the husband. I asked what he meant and he said that he had a bet with another one of his friends about how long it would take for the husband�s to break up the marriage and go to Bob. He said that this morning the husband started crying because he was so in love with Bob and wanted to spend an entire night with him. Apparently the husband does a day trip to DC once a week for his job. Bob told him to just tell the wife that the flight had cancelled so they could spend the night together. Bob was laughing saying that he planning this totally romantic night for him so he will be so hooked he will leave his wife. I asked him again what he was going to do once the husband left the wife and he said that the first thing he would do is tell the wife that she uses too much teeth when she gives blow jobs second, tell the wife that the reasons why the husband never wanted to have sex anymore was because that Bob was wearing him out and third he was going to tell the husband that he�s not ready for a long term relationship and tell him to get over it.
I was so mad. The whole counting thing didn�t work this time. I yelled at Bob and told him that he was playing with people�s lives. Bob said that it wasn�t his fault but the husbands. I told him that the husband was to blame but that Bob is playing him. It would be different if Bob really like the husband. It would be right but it would be understandable but Bob is playing with the wife and the kids. I asked him if he ever thought about what this would do to the husband�s kids and he said that he didn�t really care that the husband shouldn�t have been online looking for some anyway. We went back and forth and finally Bob told me that I was so judgmental and that I am the only one who has a problem with it. He told me that my problem was that I wanted to have all of these experiences but I�m too afraid to admit it. He said that if I had the chance to be doing what he was that I would jump at it. I told him that I wouldn�t and that I�m disgusted by it. He told me, before he hung up that I was disgusted with everything and that I just needed to live.
Of course at this point I�m pissed. I called JAB and told him what happen. He wasn�t much good because he hates Bob anyway. Sometimes, JAB needs to just listen to me and let me get it out. I want to hear his opinion but he was so busy interjecting why Bob was an asshole that he didn�t even let me finish the story. So JAB and I then got into an argument and I ended up hanging up on him. I went for a drive just to calm my head and then came back home and called JAB to apologize. Everything he said was correct it�s just hard to hear I told you so even though he�s not really saying it.
Bob and I were more work friends than anything else. He�s 27. A young 27. He lives or tries to live his life like it�s a Queer as Folk episode. I hate that. We�ve discussed. We can�t go out to dinner with him shameless flirting with anyone, married, single it doesn�t matter. We used to fly together all the time but I got so tired of him hitting on the pilots and being embarrassed when they shot him down or in one occasion kicked him off the trip. He is not Brian. Brian does not exist. Queer as Folk is, in my opinion and over hyped show for the 20 something gay community. I�m not saying that I don�t watch it because I do. I won�t set my life around it or anything but if it�s on I may watch it but I don�t love it the way he does and so many other gay people do. I think one thing that I need to realize is that I�m old. Not old but I�m not 20. I don�t want to be. I�ve grown too much and seen to much.
I guess I�m on my soap box again and I�m sorry. I still believe that grey is grey but also believe that there�s a line between good and evil and Bob catapulted over that line. If being open minded means that I have to accept what Bob is doing as being right then I�ll just go ahead and be closed minded.
I put one of those guest maps on. If you have a second please go on and pin point where you live.
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