I met Vern and maybe had a epiphany

I�ve been feeling icky all day. That�s the only way to describe it. Not really bad but blah. I think part of it is a fall out from my talk/fight with JAB and the most part is the weather here which is Icky and the barometric pressure is up. Even though I don�t really know what it means when it�s up, I know I usually feel icky when it is. I planned to do all of these errands today but I only made it to home depot where I literally ran into Vern from Trading Spaces. I am one of those shoppers when I�m really looking for something like I was today, tin backsplashes that we�re going to put in the kitchen. I�m pretty much in my own world which explains why I backed into him. He was holding a bunch of tubing or something in his hand and he dropped them. I apologized and he apologized. I picked up the tubing and he said thanks I said sorry and he said it�s ok. It wasn�t until he walked away that I thought �where do I know him from?� Seeing celebrates isn�t really a big deal anymore to me. I�ve seen a lot on the airplane. Actually know I hate seeing them because I get so disappointed when I have them on the airplane and they are not nice. Ray Charles, Tina Louise, Julia Roberts fall into the category of people I wished I never had on the plane. Vanessa Williams, Glenn Close, Farah Faucett are people who I can say I�m glad I had on the plane. Anyway I didn�t realize who Vern was until this older Home Depot employee started yelling �that�s Vern from that show Trading Places� and yes she did say Trading Places, I was like, that�s who he is. Well at least I can say that he was polite. Before my Vern sighting I really thought I was going to punch out this lady. I was looking at pant strips and she was too but she would bump into me all the time without saying anything. I�m an excuse me junkie. JAB is always asking why I say it when I wasn�t in the fault. Part of it is my upbringing. My parents were really into politeness and my job makes me say thank you when I�m taking your trash so� Anyway she did it one more time and I said it loud, EXCUSE ME. She then looked at me in shock. I wasn�t sure if it was the shock of her being rude or was she thinking this Black guy is going to kill me. She said oh, I�m so sorry. I�m so into the paint. Of course I do what I always do and I was all, �It�s ok� It wasn�t but I am who I am. I can deal with it.

When I got home I spent the majority of the time on the computer. It was just one of those days that I just felt like doing nothing so that�s what I did. The problem with too much computer time is that you start reading things that make you angry. I love the show Six Feet Under , I didn�t watch last night because of the so I was trying to find a recap. I couldn�t find one but I found a message board where they were talking about Keith and David from the show. Now I have to admit that even though I think who Mathew St. Patrick is the hottest thing since the word hot was invented and I secretly hope that he is gay even though he says he�s not and even though if he was he wouldn�t have any interest in me, I hate the way his character is written. I like him at first. He was one of the view Black gay characters who was hot, manly, proud of who he was, etc. Now he is just this loose gun. I feel like they want us to hate him and I don�t understand why because no one else except for the character of Fredrico, who I also think is hot but not as much as Keith, but he has his moments of humanity, like when he�s with his child. I hope that Alan Ball is not going to write him off because I do like the character, not just because he�s gay or Black but because I liked who he was at the beginning. I thought that he was going to be the character to kinda look around and say, �These people are crazy�. But the message board said. Skip down if you don�t want a possible spoiler

That Keith was going to die in the middle of the season and David was going to meet someone else who is too much like he is and that in some ways he is going to take on the �Keith� type role. I hate that. I just hate it. I hate it to a point that I would possible not watch the show anymore. Ok that�s not true but it would piss me off. Maybe it�s just one of those internet rumors. I hope so.

After I finished wasting time on the web I started wasting time organizing my digital video taped shows, which means that I start watching them. I was watching one of my Angel episodes and the character of Lilah said something to Wesley that I though rang so true she said to him: �Funny thing about black and white� you mix it together and you get gray. And it doesn�t matter how much white you try and put back in. You�re never going to get anything but gray.�

First it�s factually true, I never even thought about it and it�s true about life. It made me think or rethink my opinions about things. I admit that I was one of those people who thought that things were black and white, no matter the circumstances. For some reason, well I know the reason but the subject of open relationships have been coming up. I was talking to a friend last night and the subject came up. He confided in me that he was actively dating a married man. Yes a man married to a woman. I got on my soap box because I really think it�s wrong. I think it�s wrong to the woman because she didn�t buy into to this. She�s just an innocent victim. I went on and on and he said that he did understand what I was saying but asked if I had ever made a mistake before and just decided to live with it. I hate when he does that to me. I�m supposed to be the insightful, older one and he�s the flake. I told him yes. I myself was in a similar situation. My first love, if you can call it that was my college Fraternity brother and later roommate. Thinking back, I was attracted to him the first day I rushed him. (Rush is when you�re trying to convince someone to be in your Fraternity) I took him under my wing as a little brother. I even hooked him up with his first girlfriend and the girl who took his virginity, (the first time). But when I relationship crossed the line, I didn�t give a shit about her. I purposely caused problems for them. I made his life miserable which ended up making my life miserable for almost a year. So I had a small epiphany. I can say that I still think that my friend is a little misguided and I�ve seen that maybe I need to be a little less judgmental about some things. I can say that it�s wrong for me or that I wouldn�t or couldn�t do that but life is never white and my life will never be white, maybe just a light, light grey.

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