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Here's the thing. There's is this girl who I have no idea who she is. I know I went to high school with her but she's changed her name or something. I'm not sure if I should straight ask her what he name was in high school. I should have asked her that before I accepted her.
I realized that no one except my two neighbors know that I am Gay. I realize that literally 98% of the people on my Facebook page are married and have children. Why can't I be the guy who just says Fuck it. I'm gay. I live 3000 miles away from all of you. I don't care what you think. I can throw up pictures of me and JAB too. I can put "in relationship" for 16-17 years however long it's been. I want to be accepted too and maybe I would be if I weren't so afraid.
I'm drinking too much. I see that now. I try to rationalize it that alcohol drops my blood sugar down but I know in my heart that it's not good for me. I swear to God I wanted this year to be positive. I wanted to write wonderful positive thing but I'm still stuck in this rut. I try to fake it but I'm unhappy. I'm 40 years old and unhappy. How can that be?
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