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There are times. Like today when I feel like such a failure. I wonder where I made the wrong turn. It's one thing that happens in your life. ONe small thing that happens that turns everything around.

I think for me it goes back to when I moved here. I applied for another airline and didn't get the job. I was over the weight requirement. It's funny to think that back then 159 for my height was too big but that's another story in itself. Of course I get the whole thing that I wouldn't have met JAB if I would not have moved here. But I believe in some ways JAB would have been better off if he hadn't have met me. He tells me all the time that before he met me he was planning to move home. Then his Mother died and he had no reason to.

When I wanted to move back to the West Coast his job wouldn't allow it. But I would not have stayed with Delta for as long as I had if my parents didn't live so far away. If I'd moved back to home Delta's base would have closed and more than likely I would have quit or took the package and found a job.

I just don't see how I'm 41 almost with no direction. I don't want to do what I'm doing forever especially at this pay.

Please excuse me I'm just having a pitty party right now.

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