Catch up

It upsets me that I can�t seem to manage to write more than once a week if I�m lucky. It's not like I don�t have stuff to write about because I do. My mind is still as wacky as ever but I just can�t seem to get it out in typed words. Does that make sense?

Ok the one thing I want to write about but I don�t know if I have it in me to write about is that I went to a concert on Friday. Now please know that it�s bee about ten years since I went to an arena concert but our friends bought it for JAB and I for our anniversary. We went to Destiny�s Child. I admit that I like some of their songs but I�m not a big fan but it was fun. It really was. There is a part of me that I wish that I let go more and just had fun. Just plain fun. Why do I have to be so controlled?

See right now I feel like I have nothing more to say. Ok so what I�ll do is just do my snippets of things that are in my head right now.

1. Why don�t I think all of those �blond twinks� are hot? I mean really I don�t. I don�t like skinny young guys. Dark hair or Bald or have some meat.
2. Why is it that at this point I don�t think anyone on Queer as Folk is hot or even attractive.
3. Why is it that I�m wondering now if I can be Gay but not like anything that Gay people like? Ok I like clothes and shoes. I think Evan from While You Were Out is attractive, especially with the long hair. I�m still in lust with Keith the guy on the right from Six Feet Under and of course Cooper . But why is it that when I name these three people most Gay people tell me that they do nothing for them.
4. I�m pissed that Bill Hemmer is going to Fox News. Not because I liked him or anything but because I think he�s an awful anchor and at best should be back in Ohio doing sports. He should have been happy to stay at CNN.
5. I see this guy all the time at a restaurant Jab and I frequent. I thought he was attractive until the wait staff told me how arrogant he is. He's cute in person but no one is that cut to be mean and arrogant. Just my two cents.
6. I REALLY REALLY want to move into a new house but we�ve been priced out of our neighborhood.
7. I paid to get my FICA score and I�m too embarrassed to even write what it is.
8. I love my job which pisses me off because there�s no way I can stay here making as little money as I make right now.
9. I think half of the people at my job know I�m Gay. I may be ok with that.
10. I really think there�s a strong part of me that wants a child. JAB doesn�t at all.
11. My supervisor at Delta called me and told me that she doesn�t blame me for leaving Delta. She said she�s leaving in December. I am no longer a Delta employee.
12. While on the train going to the airport I saw a flight attendant going home. There was a twinge of envy but it passed pretty fast.
13. I have been a flight attendant for the majority of my working life but I feel ok in my job now but at this point I count down to Friday. Is that normal.
14. I really think that I�m going to let go of Diaryland. Just for a change. But I don�t know where to go and I don�t know if the few people who read my stuff will follow. Will you�?
15. There�s a part of me that I really want to get rid of my desktop and just have a lap top. But this new laptop I�m not really liking because you have to type so hard to get the keys to connect. I want a simpler life. Laptops are simple.

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