Stuff

Everyone told me that when I went to work in the real world that things would be different. Unlike the airline I work with the same people everyday and with that you get to see their personalities and their faults. My managers are real nice people but I�m thinking that their managerial styles are very different and I�m not sure I like either of them. I know that at some point I want to be a manager or at least move up because I know my personality and part of the problem with me and the airline was that I was never allowed to move up from being a flight attendant. I still like my job and I still don�t regret leaving my airline but I get what people mean when they say you have to live with these people five days a week eight hours a day. I spend more time with them than I do with JAB and trust me that�s another story in itself that I don�t feel like getting into.

While reading the fired flight attendant journal I was directed to a website which is pushing a new movie about flight attendants. They have clips and as I watched them I became angry. In one of the clips there�s this guy who�s talking about what trips are open for flight attendants to pick up. He says, �New Delhi, Boston and some other exotic city. I was pissed because that�s what I thought my life would be like. I�m not saying that if it were that I�d be in a different place but I�d probably have fonder memories. I had some great layovers don�t get me wrong, I�ve had the opportunities to see parts of the world that I probably wouldn�t have seen when I was 23 years old but at least for my airline it wasn�t like that. I spent more times in Omaha and Ft. Myers Florida than I�ve spent in Los Angeles or San Francisco. To be honest with who ever still reads this. I�m pissed because I realize very soon; as soon as this month I�m going to have to quit my airline and after 15 years I will get nothing. No retirement, no vacation, nothing. I, by choice, gave my airline the best years of my life and I will leave them with thoughts of those fantastic 37 hour layovers in San Francisco that I only had once because the flight attendants who�d been there for 30 years wanted them also.

I guess I�m also depressed because I heard my cousin tell me today that she�s making 2800 a month take home being an assistant manager at Wal-Mart and I don�t make half of that. I�m fucking 37 years old and I make 22 thousand a year. Ok DB, calm down. I admit, I�m bitter and I never let it on. Everyone, no matter where I work think I�m the funniest lightest person in the world and deep inside I just want to scream. I want to� Ok let it go.

JAB and I are supposed to go out tonight to our neighborhood bar but there�s a part of me that I see a fight coming on because we�re both in strange moods. Please hope for the best.

I think my Gold membership might be up and even though I�m not having as much problems with Diaryland as others I�m thinking maybe it�s time to move on. I�ve changed jobs maybe I need to change journals too.

Who knows?

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