I want Out

Today is JAB�s birthday. We had a descent day but in the end; alone with my computer, I�m mad and depressed. I really don�t want to get into too much because the more I read my old stuff the more I realize that I come across as a big huge whiner. I know that I am and I know I need to find a way to release it the way I tell other people to do.

That being said, I�m tired of this country. I�m tired of being Black in this country and I realized about an hour ago that I�m tired of being Gay. I wish I could cast some spell or take some pill to just be the average every day normal guy that I feel like inside. You see inside I know I have a skin tone but it doesn�t define me. I also know that I enjoy having sexual relationships with men but that doesn�t define me either. I�m just me. That�s all but I�m never allowed to be just me. I have to pick sides. I have to defend people or fight them because of my skin tone and I have to deal with other people who like sex with men because I like sex with men.

I�m tired. Like JAB said today. We need to take over some state where we can be around people who don�t really care if you�re Black or White or Asian or Gay, Lesbian, Bi, Transexual or whatever. Is this normal? I�m just tired of all the bullshit. Maybe I�m just getting old. I don�t know. Ok I�ve whined too much. Sorry.

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