Hiatus

I didn�t plan to give myself a two week hiatus but it just turned out that way. A lot of stuff has been going on these past two weeks. My Mom�s court case is over except for the verdict which should come by the end of the year. Testifying for the first time in front of a judge was a little harrowing but it�s done now. I decided that I didn�t like the tone of my journal. I seem to have the same themes through out this year and that shows that I�m not really growing, which is why I took a break and gave the few remaining people who read this a break but in the end. Like right now I just need to vent.

My relationship with JAB is starting to fall apart. Again I realize that this has been a major theme this past year. The thing is that I want it to work but I don�t know if it�s even possible. I realize that with me not working at all since July and he�s paying all the bills this could explain the major strain. We barely sleep in the same bed and if we are in the same bed we are usually just sleeping, (if you know what I mean). Then adding to this is that for some reason I�ve been getting a lot of offers to let�s just say stray. I haven�t taken anyone up on them but how long can I feel like I�m not wanted? I�m hoping that things will change but I�m starting to really deal with the fact that maybe we are BOTH tired of this opposites attract thing and maybe someone needs to be man enough to say it�s over. Like the Gladys� Knight song, Neither one of us wants to be the first to say goodbye. At least I know not me. There�s a part that I would be ok if JAB said he was tired of me and just wanted to end it. Of course I�m saying that knowing that more than likely he won�t.

The other major theme of this year has been my job. I have been away from it a lot this past 4 months and I can say today I realized the problem. Yes a part of it is me. I just don�t like it but a more important part is the company I work for. This is a prime example of why I need to find another line of work. Today I went to NYC and back. Now the stereotype about New Yorkers being demanding is pretty much true. Especially when you deal with the 5pm group. You see they�re all Donald Trump. At least they think they are. They need people to dump on and guess what� it�s me. This is going to be a short story but to make it even shorter a passenger in coach became angry with me because me and my counter part would not give him a free drink because air traffic control made us circle for 30 minutes. Please note that if we are delayed because of the fault of my airline we will give you free headsets or maybe a free drink (we never advertise it because that would mean that everyone would get a drink and we don�t really have enough alcohol for 200 people but if you�re delayed on a flight and it�s because of a mechanical or the crew not showing up on time and it�s over an hour ask for a drink and you may get it for free, but you didn�t hear it from me.) but since this delay had everything to do with air traffic control we�re just late. This passenger asked me twice for a free drink and honestly I thought he was kidding because of the way he came across. At the end, on our final approach into NYC I realized that he was serious and that he was seriously mad. Once we reached the gate and I�m doing my canned good byes. He asked again and I said that everything was locked up, which is kinda true. He said, �Bullshit� and walked away. I was then told by the head flight attendant that he remarked to her that my airline had the worse Niggers and Nigger Bitches. The head flight attendant was very upset and told us what he had after she informed the Captain who told her that Freedom of Speech allowed him to make such comments. She went to the gate agents and ask him to put into his records (yes every time you fly there is a record of your flight history and if you are an Ass or not) his comments and she requested that he be denied boarding on his next flight due to his comments and what she thought was threatening comments. The agent told her that he didn�t have time because our flight came in late and we had to board right away. After arguing with our head flight attendant, the agent said he would write it up in the passenger history and pass it on to a supervisor who would decide if the company could deny the passenger boarding.

The funny thing is that all this stuff happened and I wasn�t aware because I was trying to find a place to buy some frozen yogurt. The place I usually go was closed so when I came back the other flight attendant, the N-B, told me and I really couldn�t muster any true feelings because I knew what was going to happen. NOTHING. The president of Southwest once said that he didn�t believe that the customer was always right and that he would rather have 5 good employees than 100 nasty customers. I feel like my company feels the opposite. If you are a jerk and write a letter my company will probably give you a free ticket just to shut you up. When we arrived back in Atlanta and the head flight attendant asked this agent to check the passenger�s record to no surprise there was nothing documented. The thing that got me on the way home was that if I worked for Target or Wal-Mart or Kroger and this same thing the customer would probably be chastised or reprimanded. At least they would be told to leave the store but I have a job where I�m told to just suck it up. That�s why I know it�s time for me to leave. I�m sorry that this journal has been such a downer this year. I�m not really a whiny person even though it comes across that way in this past two years. I truly believe that if I can get another career and leave this behind things will look up for me. I hope so because I�m drowning right now and I need a life preserver quick.

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