Nothing to see here

I�m in one of those moods again. I think I may be having a panic attack or it might be my gallbladder. Haven�t decided yet. This work situation is slowly coming to an end. The problem is that with the end coming there�s no beginning in sight. My mother always says that when God closes a door he opens up another one. I�m looking for that other door. Again I am so broke. I haven�t been this broke since 1993 when I had bill people calling me all the time. The situation with work and how many hours I�m not flying is too hard to explain and I�m not sure I should since a flight attendant has been fired for posting pictures of herself in uniform in her blog. I�m not sure where the rules lie when it comes to talking about my unnamed company. Anyway I�m only flying 3 days this month. I usually fly 12. Some of it is my fault. Ok a lot of it is my fault. I need the money. I can�t pay my bills at all. JAB is having to take care of most of them and I can tell that even though he�s helping me he�s getting tired. He suggested that I quit today which I want to do so badly. But unfortunately I don�t have a lot of skills. People don�t want to pay people 30-40 thousand dollars whose major skill is pouring cokes to people. Ok of course I may have more skills than that but I don�t see them and I don�t see how to write them out in a resume. I did apply for a job as a bank teller and they did call me but I was too ashamed to talk to them. Two of my friends in college were bank tellers. In college at the age of 19. How far have I fallen?

Ok so let me move on. Good thing. I was seriously hit on last night by a drunk guy. JAB and I were out and he was cruising me the whole time. I can�t say that it didn�t feel good. Who doesn�t want to be wanted? The sex department for JAB and I have been pretty non existent. I know it�s not me and I know that his libido has never been as high as mine but it�s been almost a week. Not that I�m thinking about anything immoral or anything it just would be nice if JAB showed me some attention.

I really don�t have much more to say. I just needed to stop by and post something. Did I already beg for a job on this site yet? Tomorrow I�m going to try to get the courage to go to a temp agency just to see what they�re about. I don�t know if you need to make an appointment or not. I don�t know what the dress code is when you�re going to a temp agency. God I hate this. If there was a Target near by that no one knew me I would apply there. I really like Target and the people seem very happy. I�m also considering real estate even though I hate the idea of me being in real estate. I thought about going to my county education department or whatever it�s called to get some real information about substitute teaching. I think I would really enjoy teaching but the thought of having to go back to school frightens me so much. Why didn�t I get my masters after college like everyone else?

Ok I�m going to stop now. Good night.

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