A mini vacation

Jab and I took a min-vacation. We left yesterday and stayed with another couple who we�ve been friends with for over 10 years. I had such a good time. We drank a lot, got in the pool, drank more, did more pool and then talked for hours. It was so much fun and what I needed. But this morning I was in such a hurry to go home. Now that I�m home I don�t understand why I was in such a hurry. JAB said on the drive up that we should leave our worries at home and just have a good time. I did that. But there was a part of me that I like to deal with things straight on. I�m not great at finding solutions to things but I�m good at discovering the problem. I know I have a problem but I also know that there is a solution. From when I arrived at our friend�s house until we came home I didn�t have the rapid heart beat or the feeling of doom. But I do again. Right now. Of course again it�s about making decisions on how I want to ultimately live my life. Who I want to be. I want to be the person I was yesterday. I want to laugh and have fun and not feel bad all the time. Maybe I�m living in a dream world but I�m going to hold out hope. A good life has to be there for me.

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