I can't be both.

My story for today. I have mentioned many times before that I hate doing vacation destinations. I hate them. The worst one, in my opinion, is Cancun. We call it the Jerry Springer shuttle. We have to explain to them more often than not that they have to fill out the custom forms because Mexico is actually in a foreign country. My airline denies boarding everyday because the passengers don�t bring their passports or birth certificates So they can�t go. So hopefully you can picture the setting.

Let me say this first, again everyone knows that I hate my job right now. Hate probably isn�t a strong enough word but for now it�s strong enough. I�ve been experimenting with my writing actually selling two articles and writing many for free but I�ve always had a problem even telling people what else I do because I�m afraid they�ll say, �but you�re a flight attendant.� I was talking to Michelle the other day and we were discussing just how little respect we get from people; especially �professional� people. I told her that I was having a hard time being flight attendant one day and being freelance writer the next.

Well after today I�m having a problem being a flight attendant in general. When we left Cancun we noticed that a passenger looked ill. Almost yellow. A lot of people look hung over on the flight back so it doesn�t really surprise a lot when people have that look but this guy was different. He just looked sick. The other flight attendant Rolanda talked with him and his wife said that he was diabetic and just not feeling well. She said it wasn�t a big deal. I didn�t think it was a big deal either but Rolanda, who�s studying to be a nurse, said that she was concerned. We took off and did the custom forms and then started our beverage service. I saw Rolanda give the passenger a �grey bag� which is a big bag we use to pick up trash and also to give to people who start throwing up so they won�t just hand us the messy airsickness bag. Again I just figured that he wasn�t feeling good. About 5 minutes later Rolanda paged for a doctor. I was �A� which means that I was in charge. I pulled my cart back up, not finishing the service and went to the passenger. He looked awful this time. I knew he wasn�t hung-over. This guy was sick. Real sick. I really don�t have the energy to go through everything we did. But it took us most of the flights. His blood sugar was actually 430, normal is 100 to 120 he went into a diabetic coma as we started our emergency landing.

Here�s the problem. During this emergency I was doing what I was trained to do. I�m trying to get the medical equipment, gloves etc. I�m trying to communicate to Carol who just had a passenger die in her arms 2 weeks and is communicating with the pilots, I�m trying to communicate with this man�s stupid wife whose main concern is that we�re not going to charge her for the treatment we�re doing. I�m doing all of this while passengers are actually asking me if we�re going to finish the service, if I can take their trash since their done. I can�t do both. I can�t try to keep a person a live with the limited abilities that I have and still be there to serve. I�m so wound up right now. JAB isn�t there for me right now but I guess he can�t be. I talked to Michelle and she understood but it seems like a lot of people in my life right now are going through their own things and just don�t have time for me. Sometimes I feel so lost, like I do right now. That man was so sick. When the doctors who we can talk to on the ground told us that he probably went into a diabetic coma and that we needed to land immediately I just got this cold chill. But I was slapped back to reality when people started to hand me their trash. I was back to just the waiter in the sky. I can�t really blame them I guess. I�m just confused right now. I don�t get people. I don�t get our humanity. Michelle thinks it�s just Americans but I�m not sure. How can I on one hand be expected to operate a defibulator but in the next still be responsible for finishing the beverage service? I�m glad I have some days off. I need to get JAB to take me out to dinner but I snapped at him a while ago so now he�s mad. I need to get out of this house.

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