Friday

Once again my parents are out of town. Since my Grandmother has died my mother and dad have left town. Of course traveling on a pass they got bumped off the first flight but they got on the 2nd one. I feel kind of bad that I didn�t go with them, my mom really wanted me to go but as I told them and others before I hate traveling now. I just like staying at home. In some ways my airline has done that to me, probably not my airline but probably the whole airline industry. Traveling as a pass rider is so hard. At least for me. It�s extremely stressful to have to wait at the gate until the agents call your name. It doesn�t bother some but does me.

My vacation is almost over and I�m starting to get anxiety again. I just don�t want to go back. I don�t want to wear a uniform. I don�t want to be uniform. I just want to have a little bit of responsibility. Real responsibility. I don�t really want to travel but I would probably feel better about it if I had to do it for work. I�m just a little tired of being a waiter in the air. I know that we can do more. I can evacuate 302 people off an airplane in 90 seconds; I can use a defibrillator on someone who has doa. I can now evil use self defense to defend the cockpit but I haven�t had to do anything of that Thank God. All I do is serve cokes and sell food to people and I figure that there has to be more to life than that. I want my input to be valued. I don�t want to say thank you when I take your trash. I think I�ve realized that I�m too old for this job now.

This is my last weekend off. I should do something fun but I just don�t know what to do. We�re both broke. Maybe I�ll just clean.

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