Failure

JAB and I decided to wait and not go on vacation because I got another stomach attack today. I am so disappointed for him. He�s saying that we are postponing but I feel like I�m such a failure. I was feeling better this week and then I�m hit again today.

JAB is right. It didn�t make sense to go so far away from home with me feeling as bad as I do. I really feel like there�s something seriously wrong with me. I know that I feel that a lot but my stomach has hurt everyday for the past two weeks. That can�t be normal. I�m going to try and make an appointment with my doctor tomorrow but it�s almost impossible to get an appointment this late into the week.

I feel like such a failure. I�ve been planning this all month and I get sick� AGAIN. I just don�t know why things don�t work out for me as they do for other people. I always wonder if I�m not in sync with my spirit or aura or whatever. I will never try to do this again.

I haven�t even bought JAB a birthday gift. Is it because I wasn�t excited to go. Is this some sort of payback? I just don�t get it. I�m so sad right now. JAB of course is not upset, or so he says. He says that things happen for a reason. Maybe he�s right. Or maybe I�m just a big looser.

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