PARTY PROBLEMS
These friends who invited us to their house for the Halloween party were at one times, our best friends. But there was a big falling out between the husband and myself. We still talk to them but it�s not the same. They also have children. I love children, I love their children but the host invited all of their friends who had kids. I don�t always love other people�s children and feeding them Mountain Dew, which is too much caffeine for me I feel is a large mistake.
The other factor about the host and my dislike to going to their gatherings is that it is always required that you bring something. Sometimes you bring the alcohol and they supply the food or like this instance, they provided the alcohol, beer and we provided the food. Now I have a large problem with that. JAB and I have one party a year and that is Christmas. We invite about 20-30 people. JAB spends weeks getting everything together and usually the day of the party I have to leave the house so I won�t get in his way and we won�t fight because he�s very stressed. I believe that if I invite you to my house for a gathering. I shouldn�t be required to bring anything. It�s not that I�m cheep. I�m not. We always ask the host if he/she needs us to bring anything and if they say yes, I don�t mine. We always bring wine or something to any party we�re invited to. What I don�t like is that every function that this couple has ends up being a pot-luck.
I love those neighborhood pot-lucks that my parents and I would attend when I was younger. Our neighborhood has them every year and I love it. It�s fun and I don�t mind bringing the food and the alcohol which we do sometimes because it is a pot-luck. But my major beef is that this couple has never had a function that we and the other guests were not required to bring something. JAB would go to their house for Thanksgiving when I would be with my parents. They would invite him and then tell him what he needs to bring. Last year JAB said that the hosts only provided the Turkey. Then the real annoying thing that is starting to happen is that the wife is starting to make requirements of what we bring. For instance for the Halloween party JAB was instructed to bring a hot hors d�oeuvre; preferable meat balls or heated dip it had to be enough for 40 people. So now we�re the caterer.
Another example of the problematic relationship we have with these friends is that usually once ever month, month and a half, either the wife or both the husband and the wife will drop by unannounced. Last month they came by at 10:30 pm. JAB and I were both out of our clothes he was watching a movie downstairs and I was as always on the computer up here. When they arrived we both had to get dressed to let them in. That�s not really the problem though. The main problem is that the first thing JAB and I ask a person when they arrive at our home is �can we get you something to drink?� Many people answer with no thank you or some water or what type of soda do you have? I will usually let them know that I�m talking about anything from my bar as well because that is what it�s for. Not these people, because they know that we keep our bar stocked with liquor and wine they always answer with �a drink would be nice.� Or �do you have any wine?� Now the first thing you may say is why offer? Well during their last visit I didn�t. We did all the hugs and things and I took them downstairs. The husband went to the bar and picked up my Crown Royal and said how much he loved Crown Royal but he couldn�t afford it. I told him that I get it duty free when I travel out of the country. HE then asks if he can have a drink. At that point what do I do? Do I say no? That would be rude. So the husband finished off half of my Crown and the wife had about a half a bottle of wine. Now the main problem with this is that if we drop by their house unexpectedly, which I make happen after they�ve drop by our house without calling, we get offered milk or water. That�s all they have in the house because they have kids. This wouldn�t bother me much if for say, I knew they didn�t drink. But it seems like they never have liquor over at their house but when they come to our house it�s like happy hour.
Am I being mean? Does anyone understand what my problem is with this? JAB doesn�t see it as a problem at all. He thinks that I�m just being a snob. I think I can be a little snobbish at times but I tend to think of it as having specific ideas about things I know I sound like I�m bitching and I am. As I told JAB last night I grew up in a home where my parents had many parties where I know my parents would spend a little money to make sure everyone had a good time. And my Dad used to always complain about bring your own bottle parties saying that if I have to bring my own alcohol why not just stay at home and drink it their. It might be a snobbish thing to think. And maybe JAB is right. Maybe this is just the wave of party giving of the future. Maybe I�m thinking inside the box. While everyone else is thinking. DB, you�re crazy. I would really like to hear other�s opinion on this. Maybe I am wrong and maybe I need to learn to embrace the �you are required to bring something to the party.�
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