October 1

Well it�s October 1 and I decided to get back into the diary thing. There were a couple of reasons why I haven�t posted anything. One was an email that I got from someone who said that they read my stuff all the time but was taking me off their favorites because they thought that I was depressed all the time and that all I talked about were racial issues. For some reason, and I can�t really explain why. It bothered me. I don�t want to go as far as to say that it hurt my feelings but it was pretty close. It�s also pretty unfair to say that this email and exile from this person�s buddy list kept me away. It really didn�t at least not for this long. I am who I am and my life, however depressing it may be is my life. So I respect anyone�s choice to not read or read or whatever. This diary is for me. At least most of the time.

The second thing is that I�ve been sick. I�m thinking now that I had some sort of thing going on with my shingles. I was taking Valtrex and at the end of my doses I started feeling tired all the time and achy. I figured it was just a side effect from the medicine. But it lasted pretty much until Sunday. I�m still not feeling hot but tens times better than I was. I am a awful Hypochondriac so I pretty much spent the last 2 weeks online trying to figure out what disease I had and how long I had left to live. Well let�s just conclude with saying that it hasn�t been a great 3 weeks.

I have to go to work in a few hours so I need to get up and start getting dressed. For the past 2 months I have flown nothing but turn-a-rounds. (Trips where I�m home every night.) I have gotten used to it but now I�ll be gone for one night. I�ll be back late tomorrow but it feels like I�ll be gone for a week. Even though JAB and I, when at home, don�t spend a lot of time together and his sleep apnea keeps us in separate beds 3 nites out of the week. I still like knowing that he�s around. I had a discussion with a flight attendant yesterday and he told me how he could never be with his partner for more than 2 nights out of the week. I asked him why he even bothered having a partner, I didn�t say it in that way but that was the gist. He said that at age 40 everyone should have someone at home just to say that you are not a looser. Interesting thought.

Lastly I will be changing my email address soon. I loved this Diaryland email address but someone how it got a hold of spammers and I get about 20 messages a day. 18 from people who want to sell me Viagra. Even though I am interested in ordering some prescription only shampoo and cream from Canada, I do not need Viagra and I don�t want to see Hot Teen Girls or Hot Twinks. So When I get home I�ll be making some changes to the site and email. It is fall after all.

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