I'm tired

I am so tired right now. It�s one of those tireds that you just want to pass out. Work is getting harder not easier for me. I really don�t like people any more. Today there were so many times I just wanted to look at them and say, �Could you be more stupid.� Ok that probably wouldn�t get me a gold star or anything but I just don�t understand how or why people are they way they are. I guess I do. I think people are just down right greedy. Just greed. IT shows in how much they drink in First class or how they want 4 bottles of water when they have a full bottle of water in their seat pocket. The flight attendant who hates the job as much as I do said something that pretty much summed up it all up. He said that it�s only going to get worst not better and that either we�re going to have to deal with it or leave. Of course I�m choosing the latter. But as we discussed there�s not a lot of feelers out for people who�ve served cokes to people for years and years on end. He had the best term for what we�re dealing with. It�s the golden handcuffs. See the thing is that I make fairly well for what I do and the amount of time that I work. The money can be great. If I worked hard and flew international I could probably make about 50 thousand a year. Now I know in the big scheme of things that�s not that much. But to fly around and serve cokes it�s not that bad. The thing is that I can�t imagine working any more than I do right now. It�s not laziness. It�s just the fact that I hate being on the airplane.

My second problem of the day is JAB. We�re not fighting or anything it�s just that I have to find a way to tell him that I need about 30 minutes to myself when I come home. JAB is almost like a puppy when I get home. He wants so much of me and my time and he doesn�t understand that I�d spent the past 10 hours around people in a little small tube. I know he misses me and he wants to share his day with me but I just can�t stand it some times and I�m trying so hard to not be as short as I can be to him at times but his following me around the house is just getting on my nerves. I just need 20-30 minutes of alone time. But I just don�t know who to ask for it.

I have made a decision on that Queer Eye show. I don�t like it. I guess I have to give my gay membership card away. I think the idea has merits and maybe it�s just that the show found the most �queerest� people and they really get on my nerves.

I really wish that I was the kind of person who could go to sleep and just sleep for 12 hours. That�s what I want to do right now.

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