My randon soap box & Friday Five

The strong realization is hitting me that tomorrow I have to go back to work. I�ve pushed it back as far as I could but tomorrow is the day. In some ways I just want it over with. I�m dreading it to a point that it�s not realistic. I�ve had the same job for almost 13 years and I know it like I know my middle name. I just hate it. Hate is a word that I don�t use very much but it fits my emotions well. I applied for a position as a supervisor but I know it�s pretty much in vain because those jobs only go to certain people and I am not that kind of people. I just want out. I was thinking about my cousin today. He�s worked in retail all of his life but he got sick of it. Then he got a job with Apple computer. It�s still sales but he has such respect for the company that I don�t think that he minds it that much. I was thinking if I would be happier if I worked for another airline and the answer is no. I don�t enjoy being a flight attendant any more. It truly is one of those jobs that you do for 2-3 years and then you move on. I never loved it but it was fun to be 22 and be in England or Germany. Now at 35 it�s not that big of a thing and I�ve realized that spending 24 hours in a city isn�t that exciting. I was telling JAB that I really want to go back to England. The funny thing is that I�ve never been to London. We layover in a smaller city about 40 minutes for Gatwick called Brighton. I love or I should say loved Brighton. I haven�t been there in about 5-6 years but a long time ago I was there about once every 3-4 weeks. I was so comfortable there that I pretty much had my own routine. When we got in I would go to a place called the Sandwich Shop and get a BLT. They new me there and I would talk to them for about 20 minutes or so. Then I would go to my hotel and take a nap for 2-3 hours and then hit the road. I would always end up at Piccolo�s for dinner. They had the best garlic rolls I�ve ever had in my life. I know that the city has changed a lot but that was really the last time I can really say that I enjoyed my job and really it wasn�t that I enjoyed the job I loved Brighton. Oh well it�s one of those things that I just have to deal with. I�m going back to work tomorrow. I hate working on Sundays because I feel like it pushing me so far out of the human norm. I know that if I didn't have to go to work tomorrow then I wouldn't have the same strong urge to go out tonight. It's Saturday night and we should be doing something fun. But instead...Oh well.

I was so surprised to hear that Kobe Bryant admitted to sleeping with the woman in Colorado. I�m still not sure in my heart if it was rape or not. I don�t know the facts of the case at all. I just don�t understand why he would cheat on his wife. I guess that pretty na�ve of me but I just looked at his wife and thought how pretty should was. But I guess cheating is not about the partner it�s about what�s missing in your relationship and your life.

Speaking of news when did Prime Minister Blair turn into such a punk. I promised myself that I wouldn�t discuss the Iraq thing at all but I just don�t understand what the confusion is. A lie was told. It�s that simple. Was a big lie? In the big scheme of things probably not but it was a lie all the same. This Iraq thing is becoming so out of hand. The thing that bothers me the most or the troops over there. All of those people who were saying �I support our troops.�, Where are they now. Yes the die hard�s are still there but I don�t the mantra that much anymore and that bothers me. Those people in my opinion were saying, �I support Bush but I want to seem non partisans so I say I support the troops.� If my figures are right there is a US or US coalition soldier killed about every other day or so. You don�t even hear the names of the soldiers anymore. It�s like we�ve accepted it. I heard Sean Hannity say the other day that 53% of the Iraq�s still want the US there. I�m sorry that�s not enough. I remember listening to a talk radio show and a listener called and wondered what would happen if after it was all said and done the Iraqis went back to their same old totalitarian ways of life. Would it all be in vain? At this point the answer is yes. I heard that a CBS reported who reported on the low morale of the troops is going to be outed. Sort of some type of punishment for reporting the truth or at the least the truth for some of our soldiers over there. I guess that�s going to prove that his report wasn�t true. I just wish that all of this was over. There are too many parents, children, spouses over there right now and we seem to always forget that even though they made a commitment to our country that a lot of us wouldn�t or couldn�t make, they are still people with lives and histories and it seems like now they�ve been reduced to nothing but a number.

And finally since I�m on a role I have to say that I finally saw part of Queer eye. I have to say that I�m one of the few people who didn�t LOVE it. I guess it all just seems very stereotypical to me. The fact is that a lot of Gay people don�t have that �fashion� touch. JAB is pretty good at decorating but I pretty much have to dress him when we go out. A lot of Gay people don�t have nor want style. I guess what I�m looking for is kinda what Six Feet Under gives me. Just a normal story about Gay people. It seems as if whenever the Gay community is thrown a bow they just lap it up. Because there are Gay people in it then we must make it a hit. It reminds me a lot of what happens in the Black community. There are no real descent non-comedy Black shows on TV. Soul Food is pretty much the only show that deals with the every day life of Black people. But that is the fault of the Black community as a whole. I really don�t see a lot of non-comedy Gay shows out there. Yes Queer as Folk but I�ve never liked the fact that the regulated Gay life to nothing but sex.

Ok I�m off my soap box now. I guess it�s the underling anger that I have to pull out the polyester pants tomorrow.

Friday Five 1.When was the last time you cheated? Probably in college. Even though I didn�t think of it as such back then. I went to a large University and in my fraternity we would keep would we would called test files. Whenever we had a test if we could we would keep a copy of it in the file cabinet. Those big general classes always used the same test so I would pretty much always have the questions before hand. 2. When was the last time you stole? This is again something that I am pretty literal about. Often when I�m at work I�ll put some money in my pocket having all intentions to giving it to my airline. But I always forget about it and come home with it. I should in theory return it the next time I go to work but I always forget it and end up spending it. 3. When was the last time you lied? Today. I tend to lie a lot actually. Usually it�s about my job. I don�t tell a lot of people what I really do. So I�m pretty good at making up careers. 4. When was the last time you broke or vandalized another's property? I can honestly say that I don�t think I have. Well then again I did break JAB�s new medicine cabinet today while I was putting it in and in doing that I did number 3 5. When was the last time you hurt a loved one? I can�t really answer that question. It�s never my intention to hurt anyone but I, like most people do stupid things. I figure that every time JAB and I have a fight I hurt him. I also figure that every time I fight with my Dad I hurt him too. So I guess I can say that I hurt my Dad yesterday and I hurt JAB last Wednesday.

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