The return

I�ve been writing this entry for the past 3 days. I don�t know I�m not feeling this diary thing anymore. I enjoy reading them and everyday I think. I need to write but I don�t. But I decided that part of my problem is that I�m off my routine. I committed myself to writing everyday as per the Artist way book. And I have to get back to it. Some much is going on but it�s all strange and weird and I just don�t feel like getting into because it involves back ground stories and probably a few slides so I�ll just leave it as my trip to New England was very sad and left me feeling very helpless. My parents feel the same way but the one thing I can say is that it made me grateful my family and my life. My parents are by no means perfect but compared to them� well. I just pray for all of them and wish them best. One interesting thing was that my cousin invited me to go to Disney again. Ok this is the problem. I went two years ago and didn�t have a great time. Since I am afraid of heights I�m not a big ride person so the actually Disney thing is actually pretty boring. The wonder of the worlds or whatever it�s called where every country was represented was kind of fun but it got old quick. The first day we were there we had fun but it went down hill from there. The main bone of contention was the fact that my cousin, being a Christian can not or will not go to clubs. He drinks, kinda a lot, but as he said, �I don�t do clubs.� But he doesn�t mind standing outside of clubs looking at the many teenage girls in their different array of slutty clothing. Even though my cousin and I are only 3 months apart, we have very little in common. Actually that�s not true. We have a lot in common. We both like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Batman, video games etc. But those things can only take you so far. I like clubs. I can�t say that I love them but I like getting dressed up a little and hearing descent dance music. Ok I�m gay so that should be a given but he really isn�t into that. He didn�t even like going to bars that much. We spent most of our time at Fridays which was ok since they make pretty strong drinks. I think that if I do decide to go then I have to put my foot down and say that I get to pick an activity one night and he can pick one the other. Of course the problem with that is that I�m pretty much game for everything not just every night.

Ok lastly for the gossipy. I watched the JLO-Ben Affleck story tonight on Dateline. It felt so fake to me. All of that touching and �honey� stuff just didn�t seem real. I think they make a nice looking couple even though I don�t see Ben Affleck as the most beautiful man and JLO is pretty and that�s about it. I was left feeling that I was just a part of their promotion of their film Gigli which looks awful. I hope them the best and I hope that they are truly happy but I will be surprised if they ever get married and if they do. I give it 2 years top. Yes I�m a little cynical.

I did see Charlie�s Angels when I was in New England. I was very disappointed. I think it�s because I wasn�t expecting a lot when I saw the first one and I really enjoyed it so I was expecting a lot in this one and it just seemed like a big gimmick. Oh well I�ll still probably buy the DVD when it�s out because girl�s kicking ass is so fun to watch.

Finally to all those people who left me such great comments and emails. I thank you so much. I am honestly grateful to all of you.

My Weather