Venus and Serena,

This morning, during the non-stop rain, I watched Wimbledon. I watched half of the match with Venus and Lindsay Davenport and the whole match between Serena Williams and Jennifer Capriati. God the William sisters are tough and determined. I really thought that Serena was going to loose but you could see and hear the determination. I wish I had that. I did feel bad for Jennifer Capriati�s Dad or coach and Matt Perry who were in the stands watching her. But Serena brought it on and in that match she was truly unstoppable in the end.

I have made a decision to stop corresponding with my Internet admirer . I can�t lie and say that the attention was great and very much needed. We chatted online last night for almost an hour (something I hate doing by the way) and I learned a lot about him. But, I know this is going to sound weird, but he liked me too much. He made all of these statements about me that even though very kind was a little unsettling. He said that he really thought that I was his soul mate. I just don�t get that. He doesn�t know me at all just what he�s read in my journal and even though I�m very honest in it, that�s not enough to base the idea of soul mates.

My main reason is that I believe that it�s wrong. I don�t think I could leave someone for someone else. If I were to leave JAB I wouldn�t do it because I�d met someone else. I think that just brings badness all the way around. If I were to leave JAB I�m not even sure if I would get into another relationship ever again. It�s too hard. I�m not saying that it�s not worth it I�m just don�t know if I�d want to put myself through it again. I think the next time around, if there is a next time around, I would just kinda play the field. Just have a bunch of sex buddies. The thing is; I can�t really see myself without JAB. I know that we don�t have one of those relationships where the birds are chirping and romantic music plays when he walks into the room. As I said before, I don�t know if I am IN love with JAB. I don�t even know what that really means. We all, I guess, want that movie like romantic love, but that�s why it�s in the movies because I don�t think it�s real. I know that JAB is there for me when it matters and I think or hope that I am there for him when it matters. It�s not easy by any means of the imagination but I�m content for now. That sounds so unromantic but it�s called life.

I�m going to email my admirer and tell him that I can correspond with him. I know I maybe kicking myself after I do that but I no the grass isn�t always greener on the other side.

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