The Chosen One

I am finally home. Actually I�ve been home since Friday but I finally feel like this long week is starting to dissolve and hopefully something new and happy is in the air. It all started last Saturday. I was on my way to my parents� new house. JAB and I were going to stay out there and finish everything to prepare for their arrival on Monday. I was about 10 minutes from home when my cousin called to say that his mother (my Dad�s Sister) had died. I don�t know why it was a shock but I guess death is always shocking no matter how much you�ve told yourself that you are prepared. My Aunt just couldn�t fight anymore. I was upset and sad. But the hardest part. The part that no one should be forced to do is to tell someone else that someone they cared about had died. And that�s what I had to do. I had to call my parents and tell them that she had passed away. My cousin told me that he had been trying to get a hold of my parents but couldn�t and he begged me to tell them because he couldn�t. I wanted to yell that I couldn�t either but I realized in life there are things that you have to do. Things that other people shouldn�t have to. That�s what my life is becoming all of the sudden. I do things that other people can�t, won�t or shouldn�t. Most of the time I�m ok with it but that day I wasn�t. I called my parents hotel and they were not there so I called my Mom�s cell phone thinking that I could tell her and that she could tell my Dad. No such luck. Her cell phone was off. My last ditch effort was to call my Dad�s cell phone and hope that my Mom would answer. Again no such luck. He answered and my mind started running a thousand miles an hour. I thought of ever way to tell him but just thought that the best thing was for him to go back to the hotel. I told him that I needed to talk to him and that he needed to go back to the hotel right away. I think in some ways he knew. My mother is driving at this point and I hear him tell her that she needs to go back to the hotel. My mother is of course pissed because she is lost and they have a bunch of errands to do and I hear her say that they will call me later. At that point I have no choice but to tell him that his favorite sister. The sister who is only 11 months older than my Dad had died. I told him and he said ok. That was it. I don�t know what I expected; tears maybe. Maybe some Oh My God. But All he said was �ok�. I told him to put my Mom on the phone. I figured that I would tell her and she would turn around. Well I tell her and she looses it. Tears, screaming. She actually dropped the phone and I had this vision of my Mom running into a pole and I would have to call her sister and tell her that my Mother had died. Luckily she held on and was able to pull over. Of course then the questions: What happened? When? Who called you?. I answered those and asked how my Dad was. Well at that point my Mom had pulled over into a parking lot and my Dad had gotten out of the car. He was walking. It�s not a good sign. My Dad is talker. Like me. When he is quiet is when I know that there�s something seriously wrong. My Mom told me to go back to my house and starting checking the flights for them to travel back East.

I called JAB on the way home to tell him and he told me that he would leave work and help me but I told him I was fine. I wanted him there but I knew that this journey would have to be taken alone. On my way home I thought about my role as the only child. What that really meant. I thought of Buffy the Vampire Slayer when the opening of the show says that �"In every generation there is a chosen one.

She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness.

She is the Slayer" " I know, a little dramatic and a great tie in to my favorite show but I often feel like I�m the chosen one. I the one who was chosen to take on my parents burden. I�m the only one who has the skills and mental strength to deal with them and their tirades and problem. I am the one in the family who everone turns to. I only can do this because ultimately I am alone. Of course I�m not. I have friends, JAB, family but in the past month dealing with my parents and my family. I am the Slayer. So now I must go home and make all the decisions. Which is what I did. I bought my parents tickets to get to NYC because all of my airlines flights were full. I had this inner hatred for my company. This the one time I really needed my free flight benefits well they weren�t available. Well then what good are they? Not good at all but I couldn�t worry about that. I had about 10 windows open on my computer - 3 for flights and 3 for hotels. I was fighting the fight to get them out of their city and to the NYC.

Of course then I was blind sided. Punched hard in the face. I didn�t know that the journey would take me to this place. My Dad. I needed my parent�s credit card number to book the flight so my Mom but my Dad on the phone. He was crying. I didn�t know what to do. My Dad is a 6-1 military man. He was a gang member in the Bronx. Fought in Vietnam. Survived all sorts of awful thing and now this man is crying. I�m not saying that I was ashamed or let down. I was hurt. I was hurt because my Dad, in his mind, had no other refuge but to cry. There were no sarcastic statements or funny lines. Nothing but tears. He of course is trying to apologize to me and at that point I think my Dad and I had a moment that I will never forget. I told him that it was just me and that it was ok. He said that he knew that and cried some more. He told me that his sister was always the rock of his family. And he was pissed off that due to neglect she was gone and that there was nothing that he could do. I got what he meant because we, my Mom, my Dad and myself are the fixers. We fix everything for everyone. But in this case there wasn�t a damned thing we could do.

I�m actually not able to talk about this anymore. All I can tell you was that this was the longest week of my life. Such highs and lows and then super highs and super lows. I went to NYC on Thursday and got a chance to see people I hadn�t seen since I was 12. I again was able to help people, my cousin, my parents, my aunt. I was there to the rescue. I took my parents home to their new house on Friday night. They were extremely happy with what JAB and I had done. I spent about 40 minutes with them and then went home. JAB was of course there and just hugged me. I needed it but for some reason I had to draw away because I feel like this is my journey. No one can share it with me. People may want to and I appreciate it but in the long run I am alone. I am the chosen one.

My Weather