Can't think of a description.

The weekend is over and again I�m wondering if it�s all worth it. Saturday JAB was able to get off work early so we had a good day. Doing nothing really but run errand I was looking for some mirrors for my bathroom. I looked everywhere before I ended up where I usually do and that�s Target. They had exactly what I was looking for as always. I�m trying to hold back money because I�m going to take a month off with out pay in June and I need as much money as possible. JAB and I ended going out for Mexican food and then went out to Mary�s. I didn�t have the urges that I�ve had before so maybe things are getting better or maybe the newness is gone and it�s just a place we go. We are starting to see people that we know but I think I�ve realized that you can�t meet friends at bars. Who knows. I had 3 beers thinking that would not get me sick or too drunk. I didn�t feel really that drunk when we got home. I just had a good buzz going. I went to bed and then forgot that I didn�t drink any water. I drank some water and 15 minutes I was in the bathroom throwing up. My body is deserting me. In college I was the Shot King. I did the most shots of Tequila in one night. Something insane like 14 or something. I�m by no means advocating that behavior. It was stupid and I would never do that ever again. But I used to be able to hold my alcohol. And now I can�t. JAB and I slept until 3 today. The whole day was wasted. We talked about it and decided that maybe we should go out after we have margaritas. Or maybe we just shouldn�t go out anymore at all.

I�m so glad that the POW�s were released. One of them is from Georgia and it was so nice to hear some happy news. The little time that I was up I was watching CSPAN, yes I am a big nerd. They were showing a live broadcast of an anti-war rally in Los Angeles. I can see why a lot of people think that the anti-war people are anti-American. They seemed pretty un-American but then I figure that only the extremes are shown on TV or the radio. I am against this war but I don�t think America is this big huge Ogre who wants to take over the whole Arab world. At least I hope not.

Finally, I�m watching a show called Black Slash . I�m a big Martial Arts buff and I think that Russell Wong . is pretty hot. It�s one of those teen angst type show which gets on my nerves. Pretty much I just look up when the fight scenes happen. My only problem with the show is this. Like most shows they have the token black guy who is played by Brandy�s brother. My first problem is that he is credited as Ray J. What kind of name is that Ray. J. Don�t you have a real last name? Then of course he has to have this �I�m down and must use Ebonics because I�m down� This is why when I tell people that I received a scholarship for school, I�m asked what sport I played. I know that people have to work and it�s tough to be an actor. But if I acted I wouldn�t do that type of work. A flight attendant I know husband is an actor. He�s black. He was classically trained at some big time school in NYC and in London. He was the understudy for the Othello role in some big England production. I�ve seen his work and he�s good. He�s tall, good looking; all the stuff you would think would make him a big star. He went out to LA and everyone told him that he wasn�t Black enough. People actually told him that. What does that mean? He�s Black. He�s a Black man but he�s not Black enough. Life is just crazy.

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