Catching up
November 27 2002 10:30 pm
I�m in Syracuse New York. It is so cold here. My pick up is at 5 in the morning. I need to go to bed but I�m not tired. My trip was ok. Just the normal strange crews. I just wonder if other Flight attendants think I�m as strange as I think they are. The A-line was so ugly. Not really ugly she just looked like a man. I think she was. The thing about her was that she was country. Her P.A�s were a joked. It�s people like her that make it hard for me as a Black person. Everyone assumes that I should speak like she does because I�m Black. But then to a lot of people in the Black community I speak White. Which irritates me because for obvious resesons. Ok I need to go to bed.
November 28 2002 1:30 A.M.
Ok it is official. I have been up for 24 hours. I got up this morning at 4:30 and it�s 4:30 eastern time. The thing is that I am tired but I thought I would be exhausted. I�m not. Thanksgiving was very quiet. The norm actually. My Dad drank too much which made his blood sugar spike up. I can�t even get upset over it anymore. My mom has a cold. She�s loosing her voice. All of this just makes me think about their age. Dad is 68. I can see now that his sight is going pretty fast. I hate that for him. He�s such a reader. I really see how I am influnced by both of them. The things that gets on Dad�s nerves about Mom gets on mine and the thing that gets on Mom�s nerves about Dad is the same. I just wish I could be closer to my Dad. He wants it and I want it to but I just distant from him. I think we are so much alike in some ways but not in the ways that are important. M.I. called me tonight. She got my voice mail. We�re going out for dinner tomorrow night. Should be fun. Ok I must go to bed.
December 1 2002 6:30 P.M.
Can I hate my airlines any more than I do right now. Actually right now I�m ok because I am finally home. It took me two days to get home. I hate having to depend on my airline for anything. I don�t see how they stay in business. Please tell me how you send a plane cross country to a city that has had limited visibility for the past 2 days with it�s autopilot not working. Of course it couldn�t land. It just pisses me off. And then of course not getting any swaps or authorized leave so I will be working the majority of the time my parents are here. I need another job. I used to say that I couldn�t work 9-5. Well it�s looking pretty good to me right now.
I was happy to see JAB but then he told me that the Cable had been cut off because he forgot to pay the bill. Actually I was ok with it. It�s just the fact that he forgets so much lately. Not lately, all the time. Sometimes I get so tired of having to be the reminder in the relationship. I admit that he does most of the work around the house but I feel like I have to do everything else. Money is starting to be a real issue. I don�t see how he�s making what he�s making but never has any money. There has to be a way to get around this. I want to go on vacation but we can�t afford it. The thing is that I have to fly more. I have to but even saying it makes my stomach tighten up in knots. I hate my job. At least this month I�m flying turns so I will be home every night. That�s a blessing. It hit me as I was leaving Seattle that this would be my last Thanksgiving there. I want my parents to move but then I don�t want them here. I hate Atlanta. As Mom said, it�s been good to me but I�m ready to move on but know that they�re moving an hour away. I can�t jump up and move to the west coast like I wanted to. I guess things happen for a reason. I can�t figure out if I just have bad luck or what. My timing has never been good. Never.
December 3 2002
Ok I hate Gay people. Sounds bad I know but I�ve just decided that Gay people are the most racist people of all. I would much rather fly with straight men than gay white guys. I was A on this trip. This Irish guy was jump seating. I could see already that Skip was all over him. When the guy came up to sit with me for take-off we started talking. He had the nicest shoes. I teased him the whole time about me taking his shoes. When the seat belt sign went off we went to the back. We were setting up the cart. I was working with Skip. Every time I would say something to the Irish guy, Skip would have to say something to top me. Hello I don�t want Irish guy. I went to the bathroom before we started and when I came back Skip and the Irish guy were talking about relationships. I realized at that point that Irish guy was Gay. As Skip and I were pushing the cart up the aisle I said something about Irish guy�s shoes. I said that I wished I could try them on. Skip said �That�s not all I want to try on� I did my obligatory laugh as we were pushing up the cart. I said something like, �yeah he�s cute� Skip then said �Sorry he likes them Tall and German.� I didn�t say anything because I couldn�t figure out why he would tell me that. I don�t care what he likes. I only like his shoes. After we finished the service we started talking about our Gay pilot. I haven�t flown with one some open in a long time. I said something to the effect of he was attractive to be his age. He was bout 55. Skip then jumps in and says oh he has the cutest blond partner. Ok I get it. I�m not blond. I�m not tall I�m not German. I was so happy when the Irish guy told skip that he wouldn�t date anyone over 45. Skip looked crush especially when I said, Well Skip that takes you out of the running. After we landed and Irish guy got off. Skip came up talking about how cute he was and everything. I just looked at him. It was happening again and it was pissing me off. Whenever I am around Gay white people I feel like I�m supposed to be in awe of them. This situation reminds me so much of when I flew with Tony and he told me that he felt bad for me because nobody wanted Black people and how he was so tired of black men hitting on him. I flew with Tony all month and didn�t see anyone hit on him. This must be a southern thing. I don�t remember this happening to me on the west coast. I�m just so sick of it. I told Robert the other night that his ex boyfriend was dating a Black guy. He got so mad. He told me he couldn�t believe that Art would date someone like that. I had to remind him that Mark�s new boyfriend was an attorney and works out like every day. Who wouldn�t want him? I just wish the Gay community was what I thought it was going to be just open and hate free. I was so wrong.
December 6 2002
Yeah!!! I was able to get that Grand Cayman turn and buy some Alcohol for the party.
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