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I've come to the conclusion. No I haven't come to it. It's been there, but I have no friends. No real friends and I see that my "online" friends have moved on and I haven't kept up. I'm not sure what's going on with diaryland but every time that I log on I fear that it's going to be gone like so many other diary-esque type places.

Yes I have Twitter and Facebook but I realized that I can't tell my story in a predermined amount of characters but I also realized that at times, ok most of the times I'm a bit down. So I will use this for as long as I can.

I was reading an old fiction book that had as part of the main plot included the main character having a small set of friends who was seperate from his partner. That's what I need. I need someone who actually give me their opinion but I also need it to be private.

So I'm going to pretend that there's still people who read this. Here's my issue. My first real relationship was with my fraternity college roomate. Yes, a cliche but it is what it is. As most things like that end, it ended badly. But I just discovered him on Facebook. To make things worse, he's married, with the 2 kids (1 boy and 1 girl how perfect) and he's an attorney with a major lawfirm in the Northeast.

As I said we ended things in a very bad note. I have requested friends before and have not had a response. I forget about it mostly but I know if I request him as a friend I will not let it go by if he says no. I'm making the assumption that he may not want to be a "friend" with someone he shared intimate moments but I really just want to say hey, what's up. Hope all is well. But I know me. I need some courage.

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