In the closet

I'm really at a point that I want to come out of the closet to my friends. This facebook thing is killing me. It reminds me so much of how Diaryland used to be except that it's so much more public. I have some friends on there that are openly Gay and I'm envious of their freedom to really talk about thinks. I feel so superficial. The older I get the more I think I'm just sick of the lies.

I was in a meeting today and this girl kept asking me why I wasn't married. I finally lied and told her that my wife died. I know it was extreme but I'm just sick of the question. I don't get it a lot but enough where it's a pain.

Why can't I get the strength to just come out. I'm damn 41 years old. I'm old. I'm old man still in the closet.
I'm a huge looser.

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