I can't

I need to prevace this by saying that I'm not going to do this. I'm not close to doing this but this is how I feel. I want to die. I want to go to a place that is peaceful and quiet. I don't want to worry about the mortgage. I don't want to worry about how sick my dad is or how my blood sugar seems to want to stay in the 190-250 range which means it too high.

I want to be a happy. I don't want to have a job where my position was eliminated and now I'm doing the work I did 3 years ago but people say that I shouldn't complain becuase I'm paid at the same rate of former position.

I'm tired of needing alcohol to make me make it through the night when I come home.

There has to be a way out for me beside dying. I can't die now because of my parents. Cancer killed me even though I survived it.

My Weather