Rambling

Sometimes I have very low self esteem. Sometimes I have a problem serving people. Just the word serve brings up pretty negative connotations. In my mind I�m not a server. I don�t have a server�s heart. I have a helpful heart but serving, I�ve never gotten used to. I really don�t like working on business flights. Now I know that I�ve said that I don�t like working vacation destinations either which gets to the real issue of I don�t like working flights at all but I digress. My pet peeves on these flights are when people can�t give common respect. Things that I thought we were all taught when we were very young such as: If I give you a drink, you say thank you. If I take you empty glass you say thank you. When I ask you if you want a drink you give me eye contact. You don�t continue to work on your computer or talk on the phone because I will walk by you as I did today. I did a Dallas turn today. A turn is when you go someplace and back. I went to this guy and asked him if he wanted a beverage. He didn�t look up at me so instead of asking him again I walked away. Well of course he gets all frantic, �sir, sir�. I go back to him. He then very indignantly says that he wants a light beer. I don�t say anything I bring him the light beer. He doesn�t look up at me or makes any attempt to move his stuff so I place the light beer and the glass on his paper. This of course pisses him off more but at that point I don�t care. I hate assholes.

I often wonder if I�m over polite. The other day JAB and I were out and the waitress asked if we were waiters. We told her no and she said that she thought we were because we were so polite. I�m always saying thank you�s. If I�m in a conversation with someone and the staff brings my food or drink or whatever I always stop my conversation to say thanks. It takes all of two seconds. I read in a travel magazine editorial once that �business� people are too busy to give eye contact or say thank you. The person who wrote the editorial said that flight attendants should understand that and not take it personally. Well I take it personally. If you�re so �busy� then you must be too busy to drink that 4th light beer.

Ok I�ve just exhaled and feel much better. Tonight was the series finale of Angel. I haven�t gotten into as much as I did in the past but after watching tonight I realized what a great show it is or should I say was. It�s very sad to me that American t.v. is nothing more than reality t.v. I�ve never been much of a fan. I�m pretty hooked on HGTV and the whole Trading Spaces , While You were Out and What Not to Wear. The last two due to the very attractive men on the shows. I�ve already discussed my strange obsession with Evan Farmer from While You Were Out but I�ve also discovered my new attraction to Clinton Kelly who co-hosts What Not To Wear. Now I understand that to a lot of people he may not be �hot� but there�s something about him. I really like normal looking guys plus he dresses very well. The only thing that bugs me is that he�s a little too fem for me but it would probably grow on me. I think the attraction stems from the fact that he seems like a very nice guy. Very nice guys are a commodity in the Gay community. Really in any community.

I had this discussion at work a couple of weeks ago where another flight attendant and I argued on who we�d choose to �be� with between Evan and Clinton. He of course choose Evan and thinks that I�m crazy for my strange attraction to Clinton. I tell him that I think Evan would be fun for a couple of nights but Clinton is boyfriend material. I can�t belive that this entry has disintegrated into sounding like a 10 year old girl. I guess it�s time for me to go to bed now.

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