Here we go
...The hardest thing in this world is to live in it. BtVS

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Sunday, Feb. 06, 2011
Well it�s official that JAB and I are in forclosure status. It�s amazing that we�ve held out this long but it�s here. We�re now trying to figure out what to do. We can borrow, no not we but JAB because no one knows that JAB and I are a couple. That I�m Gay. So it�s not right to give him all the credit. We may be able to pay the back payments but there�s a part of me that I�m tired of trying to struggle. If we cut out everything and I mean everything we could afford the mortgage. JAB has picked 4-5 jobs but here I am. Stuck again with the State and a pay freeze. Delta all over again. I want to keep this house not because I love it but because I don�t want foreclosure next to my name. But as the stress builds of trying to get a loan modification that I can say I asked JAB to do for almost a year, and the thought of owning strangers a lot of money there�s a part of me that I just want to grab my marbles and go home. Atlanta gave me or attempted to give me what I wanted. But either I wasn�t open to it or it wasn�t open to me. I take a good part of the blame; but I�m just tired. I look back and think that moving here 20 yrs ago was not the best idea. I could have moved back home but to be honest at 21 I wasn�t sure if I was truly Gay so I wanted to go as far away from my parents as possible to investigate. I go the answer but at that point I was too much of a coward to admit it. I wanted to leave Atlanta 20 yrs ago but JAB had commitments here. Should I have pushed it? Would he have left for me? I think not. Because it was so early in our relationship. Would he leave now? In a heartbeat but my parents have now moved to Georgia and love it and will not leave. I don�t blame them. I�m so lost right now. I say that all the time. My Mom says it will get better but I�m not sure.
6:57 p.m. :: 0 comments so far ::
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