tired

I’m stressed again. This has been such a long two weeks. I have my neurologist appointment tomorrow and I’m freaked because I’m afraid they’re going to say that there’s something major wrong with me. Then I’m afraid that they won’t find any thing. My symptoms are getting stranger and stranger and stressing me out more and more. Honestly I’m getting used to pain in my shoulder and neck. I don’t love it but I’m getting used to it but now I’m getting these headaches and I can’t even describe. I want to call it a tension headache but it doesn’t describe it right. Wednesday in the middle of work it hit me and I couldn’t think right. It will hit me on a spot in my head and stay there for 3-5 seconds and then disappear. Then I’m light headed all the time now. I’ll be sitting or standing and it will just hit me. I can’t even describe it right. I’m so tired of not feeling good. This house is wreck. I’ve never lived like this before.

My Mom always say that either you get better or die. People don’t want to hear about how sick you are all time which I agree with. I’m so sick and tired and saying that I don’t feel good. It’s getting on my nerves. I just hope that this doctor will take time to listen to me. I’m practicing how I’m going to describe my problems so I can pack a punch. I know a lot of doctors are very impatient and my appointment is at 2pm which will be after lunch or he hasn’t had lunch so he won’t feel like listening to me.

JAB keeps saying that I should be positive but it’s hard for me on a good day to be positive how can I be positive when I feel like crap. I just hope they find something wrong with me and can give me something a pill, surgery at this point I don’t care. I just want to get back to my real life.

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