Stuff

Everyone told me that when I went to work in the real world that things would be different. Unlike the airline I work with the same people everyday and with that you get to see their personalities and their faults. My managers are real nice people but I’m thinking that their managerial styles are very different and I’m not sure I like either of them. I know that at some point I want to be a manager or at least move up because I know my personality and part of the problem with me and the airline was that I was never allowed to move up from being a flight attendant. I still like my job and I still don’t regret leaving my airline but I get what people mean when they say you have to live with these people five days a week eight hours a day. I spend more time with them than I do with JAB and trust me that’s another story in itself that I don’t feel like getting into.

While reading the fired flight attendant journal I was directed to a website which is pushing a new movie about flight attendants. They have clips and as I watched them I became angry. In one of the clips there’s this guy who’s talking about what trips are open for flight attendants to pick up. He says, “New Delhi, Boston and some other exotic city. I was pissed because that’s what I thought my life would be like. I’m not saying that if it were that I’d be in a different place but I’d probably have fonder memories. I had some great layovers don’t get me wrong, I’ve had the opportunities to see parts of the world that I probably wouldn’t have seen when I was 23 years old but at least for my airline it wasn’t like that. I spent more times in Omaha and Ft. Myers Florida than I’ve spent in Los Angeles or San Francisco. To be honest with who ever still reads this. I’m pissed because I realize very soon; as soon as this month I’m going to have to quit my airline and after 15 years I will get nothing. No retirement, no vacation, nothing. I, by choice, gave my airline the best years of my life and I will leave them with thoughts of those fantastic 37 hour layovers in San Francisco that I only had once because the flight attendants who’d been there for 30 years wanted them also.

I guess I’m also depressed because I heard my cousin tell me today that she’s making 2800 a month take home being an assistant manager at Wal-Mart and I don’t make half of that. I’m fucking 37 years old and I make 22 thousand a year. Ok DB, calm down. I admit, I’m bitter and I never let it on. Everyone, no matter where I work think I’m the funniest lightest person in the world and deep inside I just want to scream. I want to… Ok let it go.

JAB and I are supposed to go out tonight to our neighborhood bar but there’s a part of me that I see a fight coming on because we’re both in strange moods. Please hope for the best.

I think my Gold membership might be up and even though I’m not having as much problems with Diaryland as others I’m thinking maybe it’s time to move on. I’ve changed jobs maybe I need to change journals too.

Who knows?

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