Trying to let go

I know I should let this go. I know I shouldn’t be angry but I am. Today at about 3 pm I tell JAB that I’m starting to succumb to the pollen that is extremely popular in the South. I’m feeling headachey and sick to my stomach which are my signs of pollen. I take a nap and wake up at about 6. JAB wants to go out to dinner. I’m not feeling great but he really want to go. In the car on the way to the restaurant I ask him if he has any Thruflu or Nyquil. He says he does. I ask him if he’s sure because if he doesn’t I’d like to stop on the way to the restaurant to get some. He says he’s sure. After dinner and after splitting a pitcher of margaritas I feel a little better but I know what I need. I need to take Nyquil tonight to stop my symptoms. Usually if I can start medicating myself right away I’ll be ok. After we leave the restaurant he wants to go to our neighborhood bar I say fine but I ask him again if he’s sure he has Thruflu or Nyquil at home and he says he’s sure. We get home after the bar and he says he’s sorry but he doesn’t have any. I’m pissed. I let him know that I’m pissed. I slam the door and go to Kroger to buy some Nyquil. I know I should just chalk it up to a mistake but if I ask you twice specifically shouldn’t you at some point say, “I’m not sure so let’s stop.” I told him that I really would rather stop before we ate or before we went to the bar.

But of course now I feel like I’m the bad guy. I’m trying so hard not to let things bother me like this but it does. I know he knows I’m upset but I can’t release it. I’ll try tomorrow but I know that he’ll question my actions (getting my keys and slamming the door to got to Kroger) and then it will bring up my anger all over again.

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