Nothing to see here

I’m in one of those moods again. I think I may be having a panic attack or it might be my gallbladder. Haven’t decided yet. This work situation is slowly coming to an end. The problem is that with the end coming there’s no beginning in sight. My mother always says that when God closes a door he opens up another one. I’m looking for that other door. Again I am so broke. I haven’t been this broke since 1993 when I had bill people calling me all the time. The situation with work and how many hours I’m not flying is too hard to explain and I’m not sure I should since a flight attendant has been fired for posting pictures of herself in uniform in her blog. I’m not sure where the rules lie when it comes to talking about my unnamed company. Anyway I’m only flying 3 days this month. I usually fly 12. Some of it is my fault. Ok a lot of it is my fault. I need the money. I can’t pay my bills at all. JAB is having to take care of most of them and I can tell that even though he’s helping me he’s getting tired. He suggested that I quit today which I want to do so badly. But unfortunately I don’t have a lot of skills. People don’t want to pay people 30-40 thousand dollars whose major skill is pouring cokes to people. Ok of course I may have more skills than that but I don’t see them and I don’t see how to write them out in a resume. I did apply for a job as a bank teller and they did call me but I was too ashamed to talk to them. Two of my friends in college were bank tellers. In college at the age of 19. How far have I fallen?

Ok so let me move on. Good thing. I was seriously hit on last night by a drunk guy. JAB and I were out and he was cruising me the whole time. I can’t say that it didn’t feel good. Who doesn’t want to be wanted? The sex department for JAB and I have been pretty non existent. I know it’s not me and I know that his libido has never been as high as mine but it’s been almost a week. Not that I’m thinking about anything immoral or anything it just would be nice if JAB showed me some attention.

I really don’t have much more to say. I just needed to stop by and post something. Did I already beg for a job on this site yet? Tomorrow I’m going to try to get the courage to go to a temp agency just to see what they’re about. I don’t know if you need to make an appointment or not. I don’t know what the dress code is when you’re going to a temp agency. God I hate this. If there was a Target near by that no one knew me I would apply there. I really like Target and the people seem very happy. I’m also considering real estate even though I hate the idea of me being in real estate. I thought about going to my county education department or whatever it’s called to get some real information about substitute teaching. I think I would really enjoy teaching but the thought of having to go back to school frightens me so much. Why didn’t I get my masters after college like everyone else?

Ok I’m going to stop now. Good night.

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